Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

You Bastards!

Well it was quite a finish for the Masters this year. Kenny Perry was THE story, vying to become the oldest guy to ever win the green jacket. Unfortunately for him, his bid for immortality fell just short, as Angel Cabrera bested Perry on the second playoff hole.

I don't watch much golf, but I always make a point to watch the weekend coverage of this tournament. Sunday's final round was a thing of beauty, with the Tiger-Mickelson pairing providing much of the drama. They both made a furious charge at the leaders, seemingly feeding off each other's energy. It was all for naught though, as both champions choked away their chances during the stretch run.

This was the most compelling part of the tournament for me- watching these incredibly talented golfers all take turns at wearing the green collar. One by one- Mickelson, Tiger, Furyk, Campbell, Perry, and even eventual champ Cabrera, all took turns blowing shots at the end, spraying drives into trees and missing gimmee putts. Perry's outcome was the hardest to swallow. I rooted for this guy all weekend. He was unflappable for 70 holes, and then inexplicably his legs turned to banana pudding, shooting bogeys on 17 and 18 to piss away a two hole lead and force a playoff. From there he really had no chance to get his legs back, and mercifully it was over.

Even though I was rooting for Perry, it was hard not to appreciate Cabrera. There was, however, one thing that continues to drive me crazy, which is these guys who always shout out "In the hole!" on pretty much every shot that Tiger (and others) take. Honestly, I think these guys need to be taken by force from the course and beaten with a cane, or rebar, or a porcupine, or whatever will inflict the most pain. I'm not saying we have to kill them, although that wouldn't bother me, but they need to understand that their behavior will not be tolerated.

You guys who do that, you know who you are. Your time will come, mark my words...